Happy Poetry Day! ~ Springing

Soft fuzz forms on the tips of blooms to come.

They plump with anticipation.

Birds soar the sky for the first time in months.

Pointing their way to their Northern destinations.

The white landscape turns to caramel under the closer heat.

Hills transform into mounds of sugary sweetness.

Sweet water runs from the maples

Sharing their golden splendor with us.

Seeds itch.

Ground softens.

Bodies transform.

Sun shines.

We are springing.

The Teen Book Festival As a Hopeful Author

This past weekend I went to our local Teen Book Festival. It was their 10th year at one of our local colleges (one I attended for a semester back in my college days). I had been there before, because of my bookworm daughter. She introduced me to the world of Young Adult books years ago, and this time I was attending as not only a young adult book fan, but also a hopeful, new author. I had spent the week before preparing bookish swag to hand out to every eager teen I came across. My daughter and youngest son volunteered to help me, and we were all set!

I thought I would share the top 10 things I learned while there in a different capacity than just an attendee. So, here we go!

1)    It wasn't as crowded as I thought it would be. I don’t know why I thought there would be more people, there were already plenty.

2)    It was confusing how to tell the volunteers from the festival goers. There were groups of people in the same colored shirts, but there were so many of them. It was hard to tell whether they were volunteers, or just there with a group. I wasn't sure whether to hand them some swag, or ask them directions.

3)    There are so very many Young Adult Authors! It really amazes me every time I see/meet more!

4)    I am better at meeting people online than in real life. I am really quite awful at trying to strike up a conversation with…well…anyone. I should really write questions down ahead of time or something. I gave it thought for weeks before, but I couldn't come up with anything. Quite awful.

5)    It’s always really great to see how many types of “booky” teens there are. They are their own, very unique species, and they should be well cared for.

6)    Always wear my hair up when in a crowd. Dang it was hot! Even if it’s not hot, my stress level rises in crowds, which then makes me hot. I should have remembered this and dressed accordingly.

7)    I definitely over prepared. Not that it’s a bad thing, but I came home with more of my swag than I intended. So, it felt disappointing, even though it went fairly well. I keep telling myself it was better to have too much than run out too early.

8)    Seeing the range of reactions to me walking up and asking someone if they wanted something free was, and is always interesting. We had the full range of reactions. From, “Sure, thanks!” all the way to, “Mmm, no thanks.” I can’t imagine refusing a bookmark at a book festival, but to each their own.

9)    Next festival I really have to find out how to get a table set up. We met a lovely young author with a table set up at the area where you buy the other authors’ books. I wanted to do that, but I wasn't sure how. I really have to get more aggressive when it comes to finding out information.

10)    I was very grateful to my daughter and youngest son for coming with me. Not only did they help, but they kept me company, which was invaluable throughout the day. My oldest son decided he couldn't handle talking to strangers in any capacity, which I thoroughly understood. Apparently it’s a gene.

All in all it was a very good day. My children were so helpful and fun, and even found books to enjoy. My son had his signed by the author, and it made his day, he was so excited! Thank you, Greater Rochester Teen Book Festival! Perhaps one year I will be asked to be a participating author there!

Is It Really Spring?

Spring! Spring! Spring! (Part One) 

Spring has finally sprung around here! I feel so elated, I hardly know what to do with myself! The sun is suddenly so warm on my skin…my BARE skin! Yes! I can actually wear less than many layers of clothing and I’m still warm!

My skin feels glorious as it soaks up the rays. I can practically feel the processing of vitamin D!

And boy, am I happy!

Happy! Happy! Happy!

I feel like a whole new person. Well, not new, but perhaps a me that I thought was gone long ago.

Through this long, cold, dark winter, I wondered how most people were so active. How they went through their every day lives accomplishing everything they need to.

I didn’t.

I couldn’t.

I could barely get out of bed.

How did everyone else do it?

Why couldn’t I?

After the last couple of weeks of feeling sunshine on my skin, I am reminded I suffer from seasonal depression.

For those of you who live south, and in sunny locations, let me explain. Seasonal depression is a form of depression that happens to people who don’t get enough sun. It happens to a lot of people around where I live.

We live in a place that sometimes goes weeks (one winter I counted months) where we don’t get sun, but only overcast clouds. Add in the whole darkness of winter on top of that, where the sun seems to set 5 minutes after it comes up.

Imagine it.

There are less than 12 hours of daylight, and most, if not all of them are cloudy.

Day in and day out.

Clouds.

No sun.

No bright, warm, yellow/golden light.

Just overcast, grey, and you are covered from neck to foot (and sometimes head, depending on the day) just to stay warm enough.

Sorry, did I scare you?

Because that’s what we live every winter.

Now, in order to get through without being depressed, we have great things to do in the winter, don’t get me wrong.

There’s skiing, sledding, ice skating, snowman building, and more.

Let’s not forget the holiday season…created to distract us all.

These things are good, great even, and they help a lot. But of course, you need snow for almost all of them.

That doesn’t always happen.

A lot of winters are just grey, dark, and cold.

This winter, thank goodness, we had lots and lots of snow.

I love snow. It allows you to get out in that cold, face it, embrace it, and enjoy it!

I did that this past winter.

I got out there with the kids and slid down the hill in our yard on sleds.

I took pictures of the beauty of the snow when it made everything look magical, sparkling, and white.

I made it to the end of February feeling good about the cold and snow. While everyone else complained, I was happy with the snow, the white wintery landscape it created all around us.

Somewhere between the end of February and the beginning of March, it hit me like a brick wall. I don’t remember if there was a particular lack of sunshine those weeks, or what it was, but I was done with winter.

I craved sunshine and warm sand between my toes. I yearned for it. I imagined it.

I had to. I had to get out of bed every morning.

I complained frequently about the cold and snow. Suddenly the beautiful, white magic turned into blistery, cold death.

I hated it.

For the first time in my life, I hated snow.

I never minded the cold before, as long as there was snow. Snow made it tolerable. Snow made the winter beautiful.

Until now.

Now it was ugly, evil snow. I wanted it gone.

It kept coming. We had two large storms which brought over 6 inches each during March and April. In between, it would melt, teasing and taunting me to hold on for Spring. When the last storm came, I thought I would lose it. I really thought I would go crazy. Stir crazy, winter crazy, mind crazy.

I felt tired all the time. It felt hard just to get up and do the things I did every day.

Really hard.

Through March and April, I came to accept this new found tiredness. I blamed it on age, on being out of shape, on everything but the weather. I thought I was fighting the winter well, and didn’t realize, it already got me.

I was depressed. Depressed but fighting. Waiting and hoping for spring. Telling myself that it was just around the corner. Thinking maybe it would come a little early this year.

Nope. That was way off.

So I lived with this feeling of tiredness and lethargy. I came to think it was just where I was in life now, and that’s the way it was going to be.

Convinced (Part Two)

Then Spring sprung.

Thank God!

Like a miracle it warmed up. Gradually, teasing with days into the 60’s, then back down into the 20’s, then back up again to 50’s. But more and more, the days were warming, and the sun was shining, and the snow melted!

All of it! It was gone!

I’d actually forgotten what the landscape looked like without it! It looked different!

The colors outside were now like mud. Everything looked dead. I wondered how it all would ever green up, but I knew it did every year, and this one wouldn’t be an exception. But I was going to pay attention to it, because I was curious.

Now, the days are longer, the sun shines more frequently, and I don’t wear layers of clothing anymore. I can feel the heat of the sun on my face and arms when I walk my son to the end of the driveway every morning for the bus.

It feels so good!

In fact, everything feels good! I can wake up and get dressed and ready to walk after my son gets on the bus!

Where did I get this new energy?

When did it get easier to get up in the morning?

Why do I feel so chipper?

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It feels good to be back to myself again!

Hello self! I’ve missed you terribly!

Time to catch up on the slacking off of winter, and get to work!

Ok, let’s do it!

There. Just like that, a few days of sunshine on my skin, and I feel whole again.

Seasonal depression, how could I have forgotten you?

I bought my mom a sunlamp (I believe it was called a “happy light”) for her seasonal depression. Next winter I plan on buying myself one as well. This winter cinched it for me, and I will not go through that again.

I can see why people say they get too old for winters. It’s tough. So is dealing with depression. Those two things together…not everyone is equipped to handle that. You need help to get through it sometimes.

I get it, for sure.

Holidays: Happy Holy Week

Some people are celebrating Passover right now...

Happy Passover.

I think Passover is a terrific holiday to remember, and was impressed as a child that it had been celebrated for so long throughout history. I think it should be celebrated by any nationality. It is a good thing to remember and be happy for.

Others are celebrating Holy Week...

The week of Easter.

I am one of these. I was raised Catholic, and I now raise our children Catholic.

Easter always held a special place in my heart.

Of course, as a child, I looked forward to candy filled baskets (after I got over my fear of the Easter Bunny), but my Catholic upbringing soon brought deeper meaning to the holiday.

I remember many occasions when I hear or see (in many movies) the Passion of Jesus and I feel sad and heartbroken.

I cry all the time when I hear it. Still.

Even though it took place over two thousand years ago, I still cry for Jesus' death on the cross.

Remembering this every year is important to me as a Catholic. It is, after all, the cornerstone of our faith. It is the reason Catholicism exists.

I believe that is an important thing to remember, and to teach our children.

Jesus led a beautiful, peaceful, loving life. If we all aspired to live like he did, it would be a pretty great world.

Now, people spend their lives studying world religions to become versed in them, and knowledgeable in their faith.

This blog is to acknowledge the holiday, so I don't plan on getting too religious.

The neat thing about holidays is you can make of them what you wish. You can celebrate religiously, you can celebrate with the bunnies, you can simply celebrate Spring's arrival. I love that we have the freedom to do that in my country. I like to mix them all up into one celebration.

Easter will always hold a special place in my heart. It is the reason I am Catholic.

This week I will start the celebration by making unleavened bread on Holy Thursday.

I will attend the Passion in Church on Friday, fasting as much as I can.

Saturday will be preparing for Easter morning, as I assist the Easter bunny.

Saturday night I hope to have time to attend our Church's Easter vigil celebration mass.

Sunday I prefer to enjoy the morning watching our three children, two nieces, and one nephew hunt for their baskets, enjoy the charge they get from eating sugary treats for breakfast, then have the rest of my family over for dinner. We also sneak in a luncheon and egg hunt with my in laws.

It's a day of family...

of love...

of remembrance...

of celebration of life.

Happy Holy week in whatever way you choose to celebrate!

Waiting For Spring

Winter has been long this year. Really. Really. Long.

Extreme colds and extreme hots are not my favorite weather.

I do not spend time in mid winter wishing it were 90 degrees. I hate 90 degrees as much as I hate 20 degrees.

I am more of a middle ground woman. With most things actually.

Middle temperatures are where I’m most comfortable.

Give me a day in the 70’s any time.

For that reason, I like Spring and Fall the best.

Unfortunately, these seasons are shortest where I live. They are a brief few days or a couple of weeks at best.

The rest of the time is spent freezing and trying to stay warm, or sweating while I simply sit and try to remain cool.

So I wait.

I wait for Spring and Fall.

I hope that they will come on time, and maybe have a chance at lasting a season’s worth of comfortable temperatures.

It rarely happens, but I remain hopeful each season.

So when everyone else is wanting and wishing for 80 or 90 degree days, I am silently awaiting a day in the 50’s, 60’s or 70’s.

Waiting for that day when I don’t feel chilly just getting out of bed in the morning, or I don’t feel like I’m going to start on fire after my shower before I get dressed.

Not too hot.

Not too cold.

Just. Right.

Nature

The smell of the first snow fall.

Looking at individual snowflakes.

The magical wonder of a snowy landscape.

Sparkling snow.

Lying down in the moist, green grass of spring.

Wiggling your toes in perfectly sun-warmed sand.

Walking outside and smelling spring in the air after a long, cold winter.

Luscious shades of green taking over the woods.

Dew.

Seeing the fawns play in the yard.

The sight of colorful blooms breaking forth out of the ground.

Sitting on a dock bathing in the hot sun with the cool lake beneath you.

Lying in a boat in the middle of the beautiful, blue lake and looking up at the sky.

Sunsets.

The sound of the brook gently trickling through the yard while I swing on the hammock.

Brilliant color displays on the trees every fall, like nature’s fireworks.

The smell and feel of dirt on my hands.

Frost.

Seeing birds soar.

Just a few of my loves in nature that make me feel one with the Earth.

What are yours?