Monday, February 24, 2014

Shower Thoughts - Happiness

The other day in the shower, I thought of happiness. How some people are very happy, and others are not. I have given the whole why-is-this-so question a great deal of thought in and out of the shower.
One time I saw a program on it that said happiness is in our genes. We are genetically programmed to only be a certain degree of happy through our lives. That thought depressed me. So, you mean, all the people in the world who are depressed on a regular basis, don’t have a choice in the matter? They were programmed to be that way? No matter what they do? Ick. And crap. That really sucks if that is so.
I am lucky I tend to be a happy person. I side on happy about 90% of my day. I get aggravated if I do not find happiness, or someone else takes the wind out of my sails.
But I don’t hold onto it.
I let it go.
Usually by the end of the day I’ve let it go. Sometimes it takes a good night’s sleep, and I wake up like I have amnesia. Everything is better.
Rarely, but it has happened, it takes much longer.
But I let it go.
I don’t know why I am like that. Some people think I am forgetful, or even unthoughtful. I don’t mean to be. I think it is my brain’s way of keeping me happy. Perhaps it is true then. Perhaps I am programmed that way. I really don’t know.
It’s not that I forget all the bad things that happen, but I forget the small ones, the details that make things sad and painful. I know I don’t want to feel sad or pained, and I think over the years my brain developed this way to avoid it.
Thanks brain.
So, am I happy because I want to be, or because I don’t have a choice? Who knows.
But this is all old happiness thoughts. I’ve had all these before. Many times.
With the steam beginning to rise, and my hair (which is too long right now) was finally getting wet all the way through, I thought of happiness again. Swirling around my head like sudsy shampoo.
Okay, some of us are happier than others. So, how do we get along? How does someone who is happy most of the time get along with someone who is not? Do they get along at all? Are not so happy people attracted to happy people or vise versa? Are we meant to mix it up for the yin and yang of life?
I find it interesting how couples stay together, and how they don’t. I wondered, in the shower, if their happiness levels are a factor? If you take two people, with two different levels of happiness, and look at their relationship, I bet you could tell why they run into problems.
Let’s take the gift giving holidays. If someone who is not so happy does something for their significant other on their own level of happiness, it may seem like they weren’t really trying to the other person who has a higher level of happiness, and therefore, would be willing to do more. Yet both feel as if they’ve done the same amount for the other.
Our holidays are filled with so much pressure to make a loved one happy by buying something. If we buy gifts based on our own happiness for someone with different happiness, there is going to be a noticeable difference there. But if everyone took into account that difference, they all might be able to avoid the crazy expectations of these gift giving holidays.
If we have no expectations, then we have no disappointment. If you get a gift, no matter the size or cost, how lovely! If you didn’t expect anything. If you don’t get a gift at all, then it’s just another day, and maybe that’s okay too. After all, you didn’t expect anything.
But more than expectation, let’s try to understand each other on a deeper level. Try to take things from each other’s perspective. Greater understanding leads to greater relationships.
Fuzzy shower thoughts are faded already.

Monday, February 17, 2014

Shower Thoughts

One of my best places to have crazy thoughts is in the shower.

Perhaps it is the hot water trickling everywhere, and the steam rising to clear my head.

Perhaps it is the heavenly scent of soaps, rich with moisturizers and natural oils and bubbles that allow my head to wander freely.

Perhaps it is just having enough time alone to have a complete thought. About anything.

I believe it is the combination of these things.

Sometimes I am working out a problem going on in my life. Trying to find the best solution, or the cause of it all, or what my part in it shall be.
Sometimes I have a song stuck in my head which dominates most of the shower, but still allows me to have funny thoughts in the background.
Sometimes, sometimes, I just wander through my brain, and something wonderful happens.

Those are my favorite shower thoughts. The ones where I feel like I put some part of the meaning of life together in a way that makes me completely happy. I come out of the shower a little different than before. Cleaner yes, but also cleansed.

Friday, February 14, 2014

My Sweet Valentines

My earliest remembrance of Valentine’s Day we called it St. Valentine’s Day. Yes, we celebrate this holiday because of a Saint. The school day was filled with making cute heart shapes, cutting and pasting. Home was filled the week before with papers of all sorts, old and new, paper doilies, lace and ribbons.
My dad used to make wonderful, ornate old fashioned Valentines for my mom every year. He would let us kids make our own as well. There were so many beautiful things to make a Valentine with! It’s one of my favorite memories of the holiday!
We also looked forward to getting a heart shaped box with chocolates in it from our parents. It was so fun to see how special the boxes looked every year. Some of them I saved and used them to put earrings in or some other small items of my childhood.
As I got older, Valentine’s Day took on new meaning of romance. There were endless possibilities and hope for love. I was such a romantic back then!
Eventually, I would receive beautiful gifts from my one true love every Valentine’s Day. He started with a teddy bear; white with a red bow. I slept with that bear for years, until it was matted with snuggly love.
There was jewelry, ah yes! Jewelry! One of my favorite desires! There was a gold shell on a gold chain, simple but beautiful. Then there was a gold heart, because that’s what he really wanted to give me the year before. There were earrings, and a bracelet with my birth stone. Oh to be wooed with such treasures!
My favorite of these treasures from my Valentine was my diamond ring. It was 21 years ago today that he asked me to be his wife. Since then, Valentine’s Day will be forever in my heart in a way that I cannot explain. This holiday meant to remember love changed my life forever, and I have loved it more ever since.
These days, I look forward to Valentine’s Day with my family; my Valentine and our three children. Every year I try to find something special for them, along with something sweet. I still hold up the tradition of picking out heart shaped boxes when I find ones I like.
Sometimes it’s the little things that make a special time for all of us. Valentine’s Day lends itself to lots and lots of little things that can make that time very special to someone indeed.

Monday, February 10, 2014

What to do?

Whenever I have a lot of time to myself, I can’t help but think all kinds of different things. Sometimes I think of things I’d actually like to write down and keep track of, or simply share with others. The problem with doing that is that usually when I think of these random things, I am busy doing something else; driving in the car, taking a shower, cooking a meal, shopping for groceries. I can’t always get to a pen and paper to write down what I was just thinking.

Sometimes if I think it’s important enough that I want to share, I try very hard to bring it into my conscious mind to remember and write it somewhere, usually on facebook. Other times I’ll tell someone who is nearby, usually a family member; my daughter, one of my sons, or my husband.

But sometimes I don’t think it would be appropriate or interesting to share with a certain person or certain people. When I think that, then I usually don’t share it in any way, especially over the internet. Then, before very long at all, it is gone.