Will I Remember?

[Let me preempt this blog by saying that I don't obsess about death. These thoughts take much longer to write down than they do to think of in the first place. These thoughts are fast, but important in my life. They are a part of me that I think is worth sharing, but don't necessarily have the place or time to do so.]

A fleeting thought I have from time to time is about previous lives. Ever since my dad told me that some people believe that we have lived previous lives, I've been a believer. I think I was about 8 or so.

When I was in high school, we had a psychology class and the teacher did a session where she hypnotized those of us who wanted to participate. Of course, I was one.

She had us relax, and brought us to a place that made us feel good. First, I went to Canandaigua Lake. I spent summers there my whole life, and being in that lake is my heaven. I went to the middle of the lake and floated, looking up at the vast blue sky kissed with wisps of white.
She had us go further on.
I went to Egypt. It was hot, there was sand, and I was sitting on a sphinx statue. I felt the hot sun on my skin, and the rough surface of the statue. The funny thing was, I wasn't Egyptian. I was Native American. I was probably about 11 or 12. I had long black hair in two braids hanging down either side of my head. My skin was very brown. I liked it. (I am basically the opposite of this in my present life; red hair, fair skin.)
It was so vivid, more than any dream or daydream I'd ever had. When I woke up from the trance, I was revived. I can still recall all of this, like a memory rather than a dream. It felt so good.
My friends who were the observers in the class said my eyelids were fluttering like crazy! I guess because everything I was seeing and experiencing was so life-like.

I feel so closely tied to certain time periods, I think that I must have lived there. But I don't really remember. I don't remember actually living before, or being in another place or time. I just have a feeling.

That got me to thinking...

If I have a future life, will I have a feeling about this life? Will I feel tied to this place and time along with the others I feel now? Will this life be added to my repertoire?

Fleeting Thoughts

Sometimes I have really great thoughts. They come into my head when my brain is wandering, unoccupied. The problem is, they are often fleeting thoughts. Usually I am by myself, so I don’t get a chance to share these thoughts with anyone. Occasionally I will be with someone, usually one of my kids, and depending on which one (as there is a 9 year age range between them), I may tell them my thought or not.

When I share thoughts with my daughter (the oldest), she tells me often that I am great, terrific, a goddess. (No joke, she calls me a goddess about once a week. Of course, I love her!) “You should share your thoughts on You Tube, or blog or something!” She tells me in her excitement.

So here I am, blogging. About what, I have no idea. The thoughts come and go quickly. All I can remember is that they were good. They put together parts of life for me. Help me reason things out: problems, fears, solutions. They give me a grand scheme theory, to help me go through my every day life with some meaning, some purpose.

Perhaps that’s why they are so brief. Because once I make sense of them, they go to the back of the line, so to speak. Being in my 40’s, that line is pretty long. It’s hard to see to the end of it sometimes. I forget who’s back there. Things get lost.

Where was I? Oh yes, fleeting thoughts. Sometimes, if I am able, I will make a note of them. That is rare. Usually I am driving in my car, or taking a shower, or doing the dishes, or laundry. It’s when my mind is bored, because my body is busy. I wish I could jot them all down and see later on if they were really as good as I thought. I’ve taken to keeping a notebook and pencil by my bed, just in case. Some weird dreams have happened, but I’m not sure those are for blogging about. I haven’t decided what to do about those.

Fleeting thoughts…I am glad for them, even if they do leave a bit too soon.

Nature

The smell of the first snow fall.

Looking at individual snowflakes.

The magical wonder of a snowy landscape.

Sparkling snow.

Lying down in the moist, green grass of spring.

Wiggling your toes in perfectly sun-warmed sand.

Walking outside and smelling spring in the air after a long, cold winter.

Luscious shades of green taking over the woods.

Dew.

Seeing the fawns play in the yard.

The sight of colorful blooms breaking forth out of the ground.

Sitting on a dock bathing in the hot sun with the cool lake beneath you.

Lying in a boat in the middle of the beautiful, blue lake and looking up at the sky.

Sunsets.

The sound of the brook gently trickling through the yard while I swing on the hammock.

Brilliant color displays on the trees every fall, like nature’s fireworks.

The smell and feel of dirt on my hands.

Frost.

Seeing birds soar.

Just a few of my loves in nature that make me feel one with the Earth.

What are yours?