Guilty Pleasures

Everyone has them, right?

Those things we do that give us pleasure, but we don't want anyone to know.

We keep it a secret.

We keep it close to the chest.

Because we enjoy it, but it's so bad.

It's so bad, it's good.

So, I'm going to break the silence on some of mine.

Because, why not?

It's fun to share a secret, sometimes.

Here we go.

1. Sugar. I've spoken of it before, but it really is a pleasure of mine. It's becoming a social outcast, but I don't care. I am trying to cut it back in my days, but every time I eat it, I enjoy it just the same.
2. Gaming. Yup, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm a gamer. I love playing first person shooters, and have met people online through gaming. It's fun, addicting, adrenaline-pumping, and I could do it all day.
3. Sleeping. I love my sleep. I am glad to lie down in my bed at night, and drift off to who knows where. I hate getting up most every morning. I wish I could stay in bed and just lounge and rest, until I feel like getting up.
4. Jewelry. Or, as I called them in my childhood, "Jewleries." I love jewelry. I mean, I really do. I look at certain pieces and just covet the B-jesus out of them. It's one thing that if I had endless sums of money, I would have a ton of jewels.
5. Fur. O M G , did she just say fur? Yes. Yes, I did. My grandmother had fur coats when I was a child. I always thought they were the most marvelous things I'd ever touched. I have one of them hanging in my closet today. It still smells of my grandmother, which I love. I don't know if I ever dare wear it in public, as it's so politically incorrect, but I don't care. I love it.
6. Cheesy movies. I love movies, tv, entertainment. Sometimes I get a big kick out of films others consider not-so-hot. But I don't care. Some of them are; Legally Blonde, Mean Girls, The Twilight Saga, Flash Gordon, any 80's movie, among others.
7. Being alone. Being a stay at home mom, I got used to be surrounded by noise and children most of each day. Then my children grew, and they started school, and with each one, it got a bit quieter. Now, with all of them there 5 days a week, and the hub at work, I am alone. At first I thought I'd lose my mind. What do I do now? How am I going to fill the hours and hours without interruption? It took a few years to figure it out, but I keep busy with homemaking, and writing a story. Oh yeah, me, a writer. Who knew? I've learned to enjoy my time alone, no matter where or when it happens. It makes the time with people more enjoyable.

Well, there it is. 7 of my guilty pleasures. I have others, but why share everything all at once? It's more fun to spread out the fun, no?

Share one or two of your guilty pleasures with me, won't you?

Personal Week: Okay, So I'm Fat

Yep, I said it, the F word. No, not that one. Hell, that one is so over used, it’s hardly bad anymore! (But it is though.) The other F word. The one nobody wants to be called, let alone actually be.

Fat.

There. It’s not such a bad word. Three simple little letters put together to describe something the opposite of thin.

It used to be a good thing to be fat. Desired even. (Way, way back, but just sayin.) It meant that you were wealthy. Wealthy enough to have food every day. So much so that your body showed it. The wealthy and powerful were fat. It was cool. They were the “in” crowd.

(Tangent Time!)

I considered blogging about how I got this way. How somewhere around when I was little I became very self conscious about how fat I was, even though I wasn't fat at all. I was an active kid., when I got hungry, I ate. Somewhere along the line that changed. Then lots of other stuff, people I could blame (and did for a while) and circumstances happened.

Life happened.

Today I am fat.

I’m okay with that. It doesn't bother me. I can look at myself naked in the mirror and see my flaws, but fat never seems to be one of them. Gravity. Now that is a whole other story.

(End of tangent.)

Turn to present day in our society and fat is a four letter word. It’s about the worst thing you can say about someone. In fact, it’s hardly used to describe someone at all. Heavy, big boned, curvy, large, XL and more are used instead to try to soften the description of someone who is the opposite of thin. Fat has become an insult.

Or funny.

You can be fat on television or in movies, as long as you are funny. Try to be taken seriously and the roll goes to someone else. So you’d better be funny, or be what I call the fat chick behind the scenes. If you've ever watched a red carpet event. Ever. Look in the background. Everyone behind the person on camera is a fat chick. Doing the work that doesn’t get seen and probably wishing they were the ones on camera, but just happy to be in there somewhere.

WTF.

What a goofed up society we live in.

I could really go on and on about this topic. The long story of how I got here and how I feel about it and blah, blah, blah. Maybe someday I’ll blog about that. For now, I’m fat. I’m okay with that. Society isn’t.

They tell me it’s not healthy. They tell me I’ll have troubles.

I do have troubles. I have knee troubles from a car accident I had 23 years ago. I was in pretty good shape at that time. I was never what you might call thin, but I looked good. I exercised and walked a lot. Of course, I was young, so I  had that on my side too.

Now I’m fat, my knees have extra weight on them. They probably hurt a bit more because of that. But here’s the kicker; I can’t do certain things to exercise because I hurt my knees, so I am heavy, which hurts my knees.

WTF.

I used to like the stairmaster. Yes, the stairmaster. That junk rocked my legs like nothing else! Nope, not after you hurt your knees. Now I avoid stairs. A stairmaster is out of the question.

My blood pressure probably isn’t ideal. I don’t obsess about it and have been told by a second opinion that a normal increase is okay with age (ugh, age…don‘t even get me started), so I leave it at that.

Otherwise I am healthy. I don’t eat take out, fast food, soft serve ice cream…all those things that people think fat people eat all the time. I don’t drink a lot, I don’t smoke or do any other type of drug.

Then there’s sugar.

Apparently sugar is the new cocaine. I believe it. It is the most addicting thing I consume. It’s everywhere. It is the hardest thing to stop consuming that I have ever tried to give up.

I’m an addict. I admit that. It makes me glad I never did smoke or anything else, because this is hard enough. This is my vice.

For years I told myself that it wasn't so bad. Of all the things out there in the world you could be addicted to, sugar was practically harmless. So I’d put on weight because of it, so what? What did that really mean?

What it really means is that I have to cut it out. It’s the one thing I do to myself that is definitely not healthy.

I know this.

I tell myself this every day.

Every day I start off with the intention of doing better than the day before.

Most days I fail.

Some days I succeed. Some weeks are great.

Some days I try not to think about it at all.

Mostly I believe in being healthy. I don’t like being out of shape, getting winded taking a flight of stairs. That’s not good. But being fat doesn't mean you are unhealthy.

Being sedentary and not eating right = unhealthy.

Fat does not equal unhealthy.

I know a lot of people have very strong opinions on being fat, being thin, being in shape, being healthy.

These are mine. I chose to share them to give you a better iDDea of who I am.

This is my life.

My experience.

My blog.

Here you go.